鈥淭each by teaching, not correcting.鈥
鈥 Maria Montessori
It鈥檚 hard not to bribe children when they won鈥檛 listen. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 put your toys away there will be no show.鈥 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 finish eating dinner then there will be no treat.鈥 We try these common phrases when it seems like nothing else will work but most of the time, it doesn鈥檛!聽 Changing language to include more positive phrases can be really helpful when trying to get kiddos to do what we want them to do. Using clear, positive statements helps children understand what鈥檚 expected of them.
The Montessori method has some 鈥渢ricks to the trade鈥 that can be applied just as easily at home as in the classroom. We鈥檝e been sharing regularly how you can incorporate things from our Grace and Courtesy curriculum as well as Practical Life into your home life, but boundary-setting is something that can carry over as well with great success.
what kinds of things can we work on saying?
One聽 example Davies gives is how we should remind children of house/ground rules. Instead of shouting 鈥淣o fighting!鈥 try saying, 鈥淚 can鈥檛 let you hurt them. Use your words to tell them what you would like.鈥
We can also help children be responsible by giving them the tools and space to regulate their emotions. Instead of saying 鈥淚f you do that again, I鈥檒l鈥︹ or 鈥淕o to time out to think about what you have done!鈥 Try saying, 鈥淵ou look upset. Would you like a cuddle?鈥 or 鈥淲ould you like to go to your calm place to calm down?鈥漃ositive language can really empower children as they learn how to regulate their own behavior. Giving them positive alternatives instead of always saying 鈥渘o鈥 will guide them in independently choosing a safer option.
It鈥檚 normal to feel frustrated at times and our words do not always come out the way we want them to. It鈥檚 ok to reset and try again! The more you practice the easier it will become to incorporate more positive language throughout the day. Using more positive language will help everyone communicate with clarity and respect.